Yuletide 2015 Letter

Dear Yuletide author,

I already know that you are kind and talented and that you have such amazing taste because you like great things, so good job on all of those things! Thanks for taking the time to read my additional information, which I promise to keep concise and coherent. (P.S. I lied.)

First off, thank you for writing for me. Know that it is much appreciated and, I know everyone says this but in this case it’s also true, that I will almost certainly end up pleased as punch by and grateful for anything you come up with, provided you try to avoid my explicit dislikes. I’m not very particular about setting or specific prompts or even rating, but I’ll try to provide some not outlandish suggestions below.

Likes: day-in-the-life stuff, missing scenes, UST, UST, and did I mention UST? UST that gets resolved is always best so that everyone who got all worked up (characters and me) get to B-) a bit in the end. Also, characters with flat affect or who present really sardonically but are all soft inside, grumpy protags, especially if the other one isn’t…you know, basically some dynamics so that they actually resemble the canon characters a bit. Realistic dialogue that’s also germane to the fandom always works on me, particularly if it’s funny or a bit devastating. I’m a big fan of humour in fic, but don’t force it if you don’t feel comfortable or it doesn’t fit whatever you’ve thought up.

I have a bit of a thing for (face)shaving and care way too much about armpit hair. Dub con is okay with the caveat that it must only be dubious because they are unsure if the other person’s into it at first, but guess what, of course they are. A character can start out desperately uncertain and then gain confidence as the con gets less dub. If that doesn’t make sense and it may well not, feel free to anon me. As to rating, G to NC-17 are all good, but with the exception of Jamie in The Thick of It, I do ship these people, so I would prefer for them to be, you know, together. It doesn’t have to be explicit, hints or implications are fine. If you want to write me domestic gen stuff, I’ll be very happy. If you want to pen a filthy, sprawling pornographic saga with long passages (ahem) celebrating someone’s butt, I will also be very happy. I’m keen on plot, so please include a bit. Canon divergence (what could have been/what will be) is all well and good, but maybe not massive AU departures (space, high school, Greek mythology, etc.)

Dislikes: For these particular fandoms, I’d like to ask for no kink (a/b/o, knotting, vore, mpreg, necrophilia, etc.) except for what I’ve indicated above. Please no non con or under-16 sex. Otherwise, there are some things that I’m genuinely afraid of, like plane crashes and cockroaches, that I’d rather were not described in detail. Because it’s Yuletide and the characters in these fandoms are all a bit stupid sometimes and seem to relish my tears, please avoid crushing my spirit further with any irredeemable loss or major character death (excluding canon, obvi). I’m fine with being sad, it’s part of why I love books and art and television and these particular people, but I would just beg for a light at the end of the tunnel if you decide to go that route. And last thing, please don’t disparage or bash any of the characters’ canon love interests if they’re in the way of the story you want to tell. Best leave them out entirely in that case. I promise I won’t complain.   

A Single Man (2009) - George Falconer/Jim

Remember when everyone in this was alive and beautiful and lit worshipfully by Tom Ford so that love looked like the lazy, golden afternoon of a lifetime and your heart was just brimming full with ease? That, I want THAT. Some leads, if you require them: whatever it is that prompts George to say they’re invisible, lying out on the rocks telling each other life-long secrets in sun-bleached black and white, Jim calling George “old man” for the first time, how they knew when they first found each other…I have nothing but time for them. I just want them to be happy.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (2011) - Jim Prideaux/Bill Haydon

Jim Prideaux and Bill Haydon - together, of course. The inseparables.

There’s clearly a Boeing’s worth of baggage between these two and I for one want to know all about it. The obvious place to start is the muddy, happy rugby pics that seem to stab everyone who beholds them right in the feels, but there’s a lot more besides: the Christmas party (godDAMN but I care about that Christmas party), Bill using his traitorous influence to free Jim, etc. Did they meet at all while Jim was in hot, broody exile in the caravan? (Imagine THAT was your gym teacher???) What is Jim remembering when he takes aim and sheds a tear? And Bill, when he’s staring down the barrel of his best friend’s rifle? Bring the books into it or not, I don't care. Tear me apart, dear author, I am yours!

The Thick of It (TV) - Jamie McDonald

Destroyer of fax machines, defender of Al Jolson, Jamie McDonald ensnared me by being mean and weird and I missed him every second after he inexplicably disappeared from the In the Loop/The Thick of It universe. Yes, he is abusive and violent and crude, but I have a thing for monsters who are faultlessly polite to the cleaning staff. We get a tiny, sobering peeks into Malcolm’s life, but Jamie is a mystery. Where did Malcolm find him and what was he doing at the time? Where did he go after the Specials and why? What does he go home to at night? I didn’t specify any other characters because I wanted you, sage and talented author, to do whatever struck your foul-mouthed fancy, but obviously his relationship with Malcolm is complex and important, and I’m in love with their changeable master/attack-dog dynamic. I don’t ship them, but whatever, if you can pull it off and not gross me out, go for it.

Thank you and happy Yuletide!